My observations of reality are leading me to the conclusion that it is a fragile and delicate item in which my position is shifting and uncertain. This effect is particularly noticeable in the extreme presence or absence of those elixirs that that once enhanced its nuances. In their absence nuance fades into a beige neutrality. In their extreme presence it is an overwhelming riot of stimulus, an unmanageable riot of excess. Moderate consumption is now almost as impossible as total abstinence; I rush from a single serving to over-consumption at such a pace as the once enjoyable lingering in liminal states is abandoned in favour of a drive toward an objectively harmful final state. I drive at this with complete disregard for my own frailty and awful neglect of those around me.
This appears to be both a symptom and a cause of the general decay that should not be regarded as the whole, or dismissed as insignificant. Consensus also cannot be trusted as evidenced by its apparent absence from the world at large. The world as reported back to me continues to be apalling and in such sharp decline that no-one appears to be ready to tackle it as to do so would be to acknowledge the deficits current authority is built on and to undermine them in remedy. It is all coming to an almost inevitably nasty conclusion in which everyone alive will play a small part. I am 47 years old and I cannot summon much optimism to continue except to document those moments that challenge the slide into chaos and despair or chronicle those that highlight it.
This is my part in the end of the (coherent) world.
